Have You Ever Felt Personally Victimized by Your Children?
Children are bullies, man. And parents? We might as well wear pocket protectors and masking tape on our glasses. Prime baby-bully fodder over here. Kids are constantly busting their parents’ chops, half the time without ever even knowing it. Here are some first-person stories I’ve collected from my own experiences, and some of my friends’, of baby mean girls/boys!
I was walking into the store with my two young kids. My youngest was crying because of something his sister had done in the car. As we walked into the store full of people, my daughter said (loudly), “What’s wrong!? Did mommy hurt you?? What a bad mommy!”. Cue stares and looks of suspicion.
My 18 month old son decided I was looking at my phone too much. He grabbed it out of my hands and clocked me in the face with it like we were in some sort of bar fight. Blood. Tears. Still have a flat spot on my nose.
My 2 year old is obsessed with stealing the plugs out of my ears and hiding them. In some instances, into the earring abyss never to be found again. To add insult to injury, he sticks his fingers through the holes and jerks my ears around, essentially turning me into a puppet.
My son has accidentally jabbed me in the eye(s) three times in the course of a year, each time bad enough to scratch my corneas. As a result, I’ve developed a chronic condition called recurrent cornea erosion in both eyes, which causes me to wake up with some degree of pain (could be a pain level 1 or 2, or I could wake up in the middle of night with pain rivaling natural childbirth…always such a fun surprise!) every single day. It’s been almost a year since the last time he actually poked my eye. Thanks, dude.
My 11 month old randomly bit me really hard in the shoulder as I was sitting with him. When I gasped in pain and shock, he literally pointed at me and laughed in my face. He ran away still laughing as my two year old joined in.
Today, my almost 3 year old snuck up behind me and pantsed me as I was standing in front of the open window. Not only that, but he climbed on top of my pants bridge, so I couldn’t pull them up or sufficiently move out of our neighbor’s view. I eventually lumbered away, stumbling over the kid in my pants. He couldn’t stop laughing at me.
Do you have a baby-bully story? Is your toddler a mini Regina George? Share your stories with us on Amber Sky’s Facebook page!
Written by Kelsey Pieber